


damn you, unrequited love

by Bow_woahh



Series: Catradora Week 2018 [4]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora is a dumb jock, Adora is confused, Adora is oblivious, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Birthdays, But aren't we all, Catra falls first, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Glimmer is a bit not good, Homophobia, Lesbians, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sixth Form, Soulmates, Swearing, Temporarily Unrequited Love, This is pretty angsty, Unrequited Love, Useless Lesbians, did I mention it's gay, let Adora say f!CK, let Catra say f!ck, secondary school, she's whipped, very gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 20:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17270894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bow_woahh/pseuds/Bow_woahh
Summary: Catradora Week 2018(Day 4: Soulmates/Unrequited)Unrequited love sucks.That's what both Adora and Catra think.





	damn you, unrequited love

**Author's Note:**

> Sup guys, this one is a long one and it was also a little rushed because I was also trying to get out chapter 2 of my multichapter fic (I still haven't) and outside of writing I have a lot going on, but, nevertheless, I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Also, since I'm from the UK, I've set this there, so for you Americans who don't know - sixth form is basically where you get these qualifications called A levels from 16-18.
> 
> In America I know you guys just go to high school until your 18, but here it's different. Who knows why. 
> 
> Enjoy lol

Catra and Adora had been friends since their earliest memories. They were inseparable, even  the grueling child care system couldn't separate them, and soon enough they had both been fostered, living only a short bus ride away from each other.

 

They had this deep connection that not many understood, that not even _they_ understood. Until Catra thought she had figured it out.

 

At age 12, Catra had restlessly looked for words to describe how she felt about Adora, or more, _what_ they were to each other.

 

Because her foster parents had explained the birds and the bees to her, with a very bad book, however she already knew that didn't apply to her.

 

 _I wonder if they have a birds and birds book_ , she thought as she was typing away, searching for the answer for something that was hardly a question.

 

Then she found this word: soulmate.

 

 **soulmate**  
_noun_  
a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

 

Then she found more about it. Articles, videos, even _websites_.

 

She was enthralled at the idea that this could be the word that described her relationship with Adora, but also taken aback with many questions. Which she couldn't answer herself. Though something inside her knew she couldn't ask Adora either. So she didn't.

 

And then she did.

 

At age 14, Catra and Adora lay next to each other, looking up into the darkness, silence filling the air. Catra was totally and utterly smitten for Adora, but by this age, she understood that there were two types of people: straight people, and _not straight_ people. Catra was the latter. And Adora knew. She didn't care however, nothing could tarnish their friendship.

 

Adora, as far as Catra was concerned, was straight, and thought of them as _friends_. But that didn't stop Catra from blissfully blushing in the dark as they lay down, at ease by each others presence.

 

Then Catra decided to ask a question that had been heavy in the back of her mind for nearly _two years_ now.

 

“Adora?” Catra shifted her body to face Adora's.

 

“Hmn?” Adora did the same.

 

“Do you...do you believe in soulmates?”

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

Catra contemplated on whether continuing would be a wise thing to do. She didn't care if it wasn't, was the conclusion she'd drawn.

 

“Well, I just thought, because you know of how close we are, that maybe that's what we are…”

 

Adora gave her an excited gasp, grabbing her shoulders saying, “Yeah, you're right! You know I saw this TV show where these two twins _sisters_ were soulmates, maybe we're like them!”

 

Catra's heart sank to the deep depths of the ocean.

 

Of _course_ she thought she meant platonically, and of course she thought of Catra platonically, even if she was bi or a lesbian, (both unlikely) Catra wouldn't have a chance with her.

 

She was all sporty and smiley and people actually liked her.

 

Catra was the complete opposite.

That's why many often wondered why they were so close. Catra couldn't help but wonder too sometimes.

 

Needless to say, Catra didn't mention it again.

 

Later that year, Catra had been proved right, as Adora had told her at their weekly sleepover, that her and this guy named John (what a dumb name) were dating.

 

Catra had to pretend she needed to pee so she could go cry in the bathroom. She already saw it coming, but it still broke her heart, knowing her friend would probably end up having her first kiss with that _buffoon_.

 

Adora, being Adora was obviously concerned when Catra came back with slightly bloodshot eyes, after being there longer than expected, but thankfully, they were called down for dinner, and it wasn't mentioned at all after.

 

When Catra got home the following day, once again on surfing the web, a familiar word resurfaced in her mind: Unrequited.

 

She typed it into the search bar, the first thing in the engine saying, _Unrequited love_ , so she clicked.

 

 _‘_ _Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affection, or may consciously reject it.’_

 

There was even a list of movies to do with the idea, some of which Catra watched, despite most of them being incredibly terrible.

 

Is this really it? This is how she felt towards Adora? Feelings she'd _never_ get back?

 

It was unfair, so unfair, but Catra couldn't exactly _turn her gay_ , or something impossibly stupid like that.

 

So, like she did most of the time, she'd just clench her jaw through most the pain.

 

But this time it was _emotional_ pain.

 

While Catra thought there was no hope, Adora was thinking the same thing.

 

At age 12, she had learnt what soulmates meant too, instantly thinking of Catra. Though she hadn't matured as quickly as Catra, and was still very undecided about her sexuality, and not exactly bothered at this point.

 

At age 14, Adora had gotten her first boyfriend. Despite still being very iffy on who she actually liked, she felt as though she didn't have much of a choice apart from boys. Because of her foster parents.

 

They were homophobic. While they weren't like the Nazis who wanted to put them in concentration camps, they were religious and thought it went against the Bible, and they were also the type of people wishing there was a vote for gay marriage so they could vote _against_.

 

And so it pretty unlucky (for both Adora and her parents) that there was a chance Adora could be anything but not straight.

 

It especially scared Adora because as much as her parents said they loved her, if she was not straight, and they were not accepting, then they could _easily_ put her back in the foster system.

 

And that would hurt more than anything, because she'd be separated from Catra. And she didn't think she'd be able to function right without Catra.

 

Looking at it optimistically, she was 14 now so if she wasn't straight then she could just hide it until she was a legal adult. But, that could be difficult.

 

So, she decided that instead of worrying about how she probably wasn't straight, she decided to just _be straight_.

 

So when John from her PE class asked her out, she said yes.

 

They went out for around 3 and a half months. Those 3 and a half months were the longest, most excruciating months of her life.

 

The only reason she kept the act up that she liked him was because of how her parents were so happy she had gotten a boyfriend. Also everyone at school had no reason to believe she was anything but straight now, many people thinking her and Catra were dating prior to _John_. She didn't hate the idea. Of dating Catra. She was sure her parents would though.

 

So she _clung_ to John.

 

She hated it.

 

Not only was he boring, unfunny and a bit of a dick, he was also a _boy_.

 

After several failed attempts at trying to kiss her and get her to give him a handjob, which Adora _aggressively_ rejected, she came to the conclusion she was definitely a lesbian. It should have been obvious to her as no straight girl had a whole _folder_ of good looking female celebrities on their phones.

 

But that realisation just made things more complicated in actuality. Adora definitely wouldn't be able to tell her parents, or anyone at school, apart from maybe Catra.

 

She'd know what to do, being a lesbian and all. There was a big difference though - her foster parents didn't care. At all. Catra said when she had told them they just nodded and continued watching TV, her dad telling her to use _rubber gloves_ or get tested.

 

Adora didn't exactly want to know about the latter yet and what he had meant.

 

Even with their differing circumstances, she still wanted to tell Catra for whatever reason, they were so close and she knew she'd be able to comfort her about it. Maybe they'd even curl up on the sofa and watch a movie, then Catra would scoot closer, wrapped her arms around her, holding Ador-

 

_I like Catra._

 

Adora was shocked by this realisation, not sure what to do with this newly learned information.

 

She felt that Catra deserved so much better than her though, and she was sure Catra would never go for someone like her. Mixed in the fact she had no chance at coming out for at least a couple years, and there was no hope. Adora was stuck with this _unrequited love_.

 

Neither let it get in the way of their friendship however, and they still spent just as much, if not more, time together after the _John ordeal_.

 

For Adora's 15th birthday, they went to the biggest theme park in country, just the two of them. Both girls had been thinking how easily this could of counted as a date, but none admitted that out loud.

 

The two went on so many rides, Catra being terrified on most of them, hand clasping Adora's, head on her shoulder, eyes wired shut.

 

Adora got off most the rides feeling dizzy for more reasons than one.

 

Soon they had gotten hungry and decided that they'd been on enough rides to last them a lifetime, opting for some McDonald's instead.

 

Adora ended up only buying one large drink, as Catra insisted that she didn't want to waste Adora's money, saying sharing would be easier. Adora couldn't say no. She was sure Catra didn't think much of it though, however in reality Catra was screaming at herself for being so obvious about her crush.

 

Usually, their birthdays were always just the two of them. Of course their parents would get them a cake that they'd have on the day or day before, and on some years, they'd even had small parties (Catra's being smaller) with other friends from school there too. But the day would always end the same - Catra in Adora's room or Adora in Catra's room, handing a present to the other girl, celebrating _privately_.

 

That was always the best part of Adora's birthday.

That was always the only part Catra liked about her birthday.

 

They both feared the day they wouldn't have that to look forward to. And that day came sooner than expected.

 

At age 16, Adora had to make the hard decision on whether to stay at Horde Academy for sixth form, or move to Bright Moon College, which would also mean _moving_ , her parents had told her.

 

_Moving away from Catra._

 

It would only be an hour or so away, but after living ten minutes away from her for nearly a decade, she couldn't imagine being any further away.

 

So, even though Bright Moon College was the better choice, she had told her foster parents she wanted to stay. And they had said she was going anyway.

 

 _Did I ever even have a choice on if we moved?_  Adora thought that over and over as she sobbed into her pillowcase.

 

And she cried even more when she had broke the news to Catra.

 

“I'm... they're making me move, closer to that _stupid_ College.”

 

Catra's brows furrowed, and her mouth gaped open.

 

“I was considering it, but then I found out I'd have to move closer to be allowed in, and that would mean I would see you a lot less...I said no, and they're forcing me to anyway!”

 

She was learning on her bed, facing away from Catra, head in hands, barely getting the words out.

 

Catra joined her on the floor, and sat opposite to her. She was just as upset as Adora, but crying about it wouldn't help.

 

“Hey, hey, it's not your fault, I'm sure we'll be able to see each other on the weekends, and, phones are a thing, so whenever you're bored or wanna talk, just call me, ok?”

 

She lifted up Adora's head, cradling her cheeks. Her heart started beating notably faster as she looked into Adora's (slightly puffy) bright blue eyes.

 

_Damn you, unrequited love._

 

Adora sighed, softly gripping both of Catra's wrist, lowering her hands. Then she pulled them, Catra practically flying into her arms.

 

She mumbled a ' _thank you’_ into Catra's neck.

 

Horde Academy felt a lot lonelier without Adora. Sure Catra had old friends (or people who tolerated her) and even made some new ones, one of them who actually moved _from_ Bright Moon, surprisingly, but they could never compare to her.

 

For the first month or so, Adora had talked to Catra non stop, and even met up with her when her parents allowed her to and school wasn't too busy.

 

Catra missed her, but she still had her.

 

Then video calls became sparse, voice calls infrequent, texts nearly non existent.

 

The first week when Catra noticed this shift she didn't think too much of it.

 

Then another week went by. Then another, then another, then another.

 

She didn't understand what she had done wrong. And every time she tried to figure out, tried to ask Adora, she'd shut her down.

 

By the third week there were no calls, texts, nothing. There was nothing.

 

Catra stopped trying. And she started crying.

 

She had her other friends, in fact more people were tolerating her now, but she felt so lonely so upset, so _abandoned_.

 

_Fucking unrequited love._

 

Then, one day as she had been scrolling through Instagram, she saw Adora, eyes gleaming with a fat grin on her face, next to some kid with purple hair and this girl who wore way too much pink. The caption said, “it hasn't been too long, but I already love these two <3”

 

First she cried. Then she screamed, angry at herself for having so much hope in Adora, for spending so much time upset over it. She was angry at Adora most of all.

 

_You promised you wouldn't leave me._

 

A day after seeing the post, Adora messaged her, after nearly _two_ _months,_ of radio silence.

 

She had asked to meet up with Catra in their infamous meet up place - the local park.

 

At first, Catra wanted to refuse, telling her to shove her stupid offer up her ass, but she realised, she did want to know why Adora had just _forgot_ about her, especially after she said she wouldn't.

 

Catra found Adora on the swing, slowly rocking back and forth - she never liked going too high.

 

As she heard someone step on the gravel, she shot her head up, eyes lighting up.

 

She stood up, corners of her lips twitching “Catra! I'm so-”

 

“Don't.” Catra's jaw was clenched shut. She stopped Adora from coming any closer, keeping her at arm's length. As much as part of her wanted to forgive Adora's actions and just pull her into a tight hug, she knew that wouldn't solve anything in the long run.

 

Adora's smile had faltered, and she knew that interrupting Catra again wouldn't end well, so she waited for Catra to talk.

 

“I don't...I don't understand you Adora, first you say how you'd never leave me, or forget about me, then all of a sudden you stop talking to me, leaving me confused, lonely, upset-”

 

“Catra, I'm sorry, I feel so-”

 

“Sure you are.” Catra scoffs, playing with the gravel under her feet.

 

“...I feel so shitty, I felt terrible, you know, and initially it _was_ because of the school's workload and the football team, but then, I did end up making some friends, Bow and Glimmer, and-”

 

“Yeah, I saw on your _fucking_ Instagram.”

 

Adora is rendered speechless, as if she hadn't realised that posting a picture on a public account, that Catra _follows_ , would reveal what she had been doing in the past couple weeks.

 

“So, Adora, what's really your excuse for blanking me for this long? It better be good.”

 

She watched as Adora struggled to find the right words, mouth opening, then snapping shut, stuttering, saying “I” and “Um” until she finally settled on what to say.

 

Even as she was fuming at the girl she still found her cute. She hated herself for it.

 

“Well, at first, it _really_ was school, exams were starting soon, so my parents started making me talk to you less, they knew I'd be, um... distracted I guess.

 

Then I met Bow and Glimmer. And we started hanging out a lot more, but I still wanted to talk to you, that's usually _all_ I wanted to do.”

 

She paused, thinking again of what to say next, Catra looking at her unimpressed.

 

“But, they would, kinda tease me, or tell me to go out with them instead of staying at home and talking to you. And I just _couldn't_ say no. They'd say things like, 'jeez Adora your obsessed with her’ and ‘wow Adora, give her some space' so I listened and I-”

 

Catra laughed.

 

“So you're saying, because of your friends _Glow_ and _Bimmer,_ you just completely stopped talking to me? Sounds like bullshit to me like-”

 

“It was more than that, I didn't-”

 

“No, Adora, No. There's nothing more. It's simple. Have you just made me come here just so you could say how your new friends are _better_ than me, and that because they don't like me, you stopped talking to me!?”

 

“Catra, no, calm down, _please_.” Sadness clouded her features.

 

Catra ignored her pleas, and went on. Her eyes burned with anger. She exploded.

 

“We've known each other for as long as I can remember. And you threw it away because someone said you're clingy? Pathetic. You really are a people pleaser, the worst kind, and for that I fucking _hate you_.”

 

Adora's lower lip trembled.

 

Catra started to storm off, when Adora grabbed hold of her arm.

 

“Catra, wait, I lov-”

 

She pushed, and snarled at her, “ _leave me alone Adora_.”

 

Catra started jogging away, leaving a broken hearted Adora with tears running down her face as she sat in the gravel, hands cut and scraped. Adora was upset, she was angry.

 

_How is it fair she gets to treat me like that?_

 

Both were bruised by each others mistakes. Broken by words exchanged, or by the lack thereof.

Both were angry, filled with hate. But they were also just young, confused and in _love_.

 

Adora knew how she felt for her friend was unrequited, but she never thought she'd be sitting in gravel thinking it was utterly _hopeless_.

 

The day had come when she wouldn't have _anything_ to look forward to for her birthday.

 

 _Anything_ being Catra.

 

Catra had gotten home, running upstairs and tearing her clothes off, getting in the shower to try wash away everything wrong she was feeling.

 

It didn't work.

 

She was still raging at the conversation Adora and her had at the park, trying to wrap her head around everything.

 

Adora wanted to reconcile, and if anything Catra had made it worse. Everything she had said was on impulse, what she was feeling in the _moment,_ and now, she didn't know if what she had said still stood true.

 

 _I said I hate you_.

 

But didn't she? Then she thought about it. She didn't.  

 

She got into bed, wishing she could just hate Adora for what she did. She couldn't. She cried.

 

Adora was at fault too, but Catra couldn't help but feel she'd worsened things. Then Catra recalled something. After she said I hate you, she swore Adora nearly said-

 

_She couldn't have. Not after me being such a dick._

 

Still, part of her thought she should text her, and apologise profusely, part of her thought of getting on a train to Adora's house right now-

 

_No, she probably hates me._

 

Catra went to sleep.

 

Adora went home.

 

Both were broken hearted and hopeless.

 

The months leading up to Adora's birthday had been even more painfully slow than the _John months,_ the cycle of school then home or hanging out with friends growing tiresome.

 

She just wanted to talk to Catra. No matter how often she convinced herself she didn't.

 

And it was the same for Catra.

 

Even though she did like Scorpia and Entrapta, she couldn't help but think about her every passing second. But she still couldn't bring herself to just send one text message. She had messed up _royally_.

The months went faster for her, everything being a blur.

 

Then came Adora's birthday.

 

Adora didn't want a big party. Despite her parents blessing to do so, as they would be away for the weekend, all she wanted was to head down to the cinema amd get some sushi.

 

But Bow and Glimmer had convinced her otherwise.

 

“You're like one of the most popular girls in the school, despite being here for less than a year! That's an achievement girl, and you _need_ to flaunt it.”

 

Bow nodded adding on,”It will be fun, come on, we could order pizza!”

 

Adora huffed. “...Fine, but you guys are organising it.”

 

They both cheered.

 

The house was packed. There were people in every room, dancing, cheering, drinking things that weren't at the drink stall they had, and drinking things that _definitely_ had alcohol in them.

 

She was also in this tight red dress, which was _so_ impractical. Adora groaned, wondering why she agreed to this.

 

“You having fun?” Glimmer shouted over the music, dancing with Bow next to her.

 

“Uh, yeah!” She faked a smile.

 

She was having absolutely _no_ fun, she had never liked parties or drinking or all the guys flirting with her or dancing with anyone but Catra in the comfort of her room.

 

Catra.

 

 _Maybe if Catra was here it would be fun,_ thought Adora as she was led back to the dance floor.

 

Meanwhile, Catra was playing video games in Entrapta's basement, bored as usual.

 

“You know...” Scorpia was also there, “maybe you should try talking to that friend of yours, you guys were - _are_  super close.”

 

Catra groaned, pausing the game and checking her phone, looking at that rather than Scorpia, scrolling through Instagram.

 

Then, she saw on Adora's account that apparently she was having a big party for her seventeenth, which was today - Catra could never forget the day.

 

“You know what Scorpia, I'll do one better right now in fact…” she grinned menacingly as she got up, finally making eye contact with the other girl.

 

“Okay...good luck then!” Scorpia waved her goodbye cheerfully.

 

“Don't need it,” Catra retorted, slamming the door shut.

 

_I must have a nice shirt somewhere in my wardrobe…_

 

At this point the party had only been going on for an hour now, and Adora already wanted to collapse and die.

 

“When are we cutting the cake Glimmer?” She sounded more exasperated than she had meant to.

 

“Huh, not for a while, the pizza isn't even here yet, why?”

 

“No...no reason.” Adora wasn't good at lying at all, but Glimmer didn't know her well enough to know that.

 

“Sure, that's fine- _oh my god_ , this is my favourite song! Let's dance!” She was back on the dance floor again.

 

Another hour of dancing and Adora rejecting horny guys later, (why was birthday sex such a big thing?) the pizza had finally come, slices being handed out to everyone.

 

It was all so messy though, pizza was getting under the _sofa somehow._

 

_Why would my parents allow this?_

 

It was most likely because they'd noticed how upset Adora has been over Catra. Usually when she was upset, it was over Catra is what they quickly learnt. But usually it would be resolved in a day.

 

It's been _months_.

 

She pulled herself away from those thoughts as someone she didn't recognise approached her, smiling, and of course, she smiled back.

 

 _Can't be a bad Birthday girl/hostess_ , Adora thought as he greeted her, joining her in the kitchen, where she had been getting some air, away from the ruckus.

 

“Adora right? Happy birthday by the way.” He gave her shoulder a friendly nudge.

 

“Thanks, I, uh...I don't think I've seen you in any of my classes though,” she replied frankly, shying away from his touch, after all of her last encounters.

 

“Oh yeah, I take engineering, I'm a bit of a nerd.”

 

“Does this nerd have a name?” At this point a friendly conversation is what she needed, any boy who had talked to her so far was just trying to get into her pants, so this kid was a nice change in pace.

 

“Oh! It's Callum, and I guess I already know yours, since it's your party and your, um... pretty popular.”

 

She chuckled a bit at that.

 

“I guess so, it doesn't really feel like it...”

 

“Seriously!? You're like this sporty, smart, _hot_ blonde like you really don't realise the effect you have on people, do you?” his brows drew together, a smirk on his face, edging slightly closer, Adora pressed against the counter.

 

This didn't feel like a friendly conversation anymore. Now it seemed like he was just trying to ease into _something_.

 

All of a sudden she felt uncomfortable. But if she pushed him away now, well she couldn't, so she just hoped _someone_ would intervene.

 

“Well, I, um, I guess you have a point,” she was trying to keep her cool.

 

He got even closer, breath fanning over her face, smelling like pepperoni and beer.

 

“You could have any guy you wanted, but so far, no one. Some say it's because you're so focused on school, but, I think maybe, maybe you don't want _a guy_ , but I can help you change that…”

 

He stroked Adora's cheek, making her shudder at the contact.  

 

She was praying at this point someone, _anyone_ would come, because she was paralysed to the spot.

 

Catra was in an Uber, in a blood red shirt, heading towards Adora's house. It was unmissable with the party going on inside.

 

As she got out the car, she started panicking, asking herself, _why, why, why did I do this?_

 

As she got to the door, she calmed down a little, telling herself, _it will be fun to mess with her._

 

Catra didn't like parties, nor did Adora, so it was shocking she was having one, but there was no doubt in her mind _Glow_ and _whatever_ had planned it.

 

She wasted no time, already scanning each room for Adora, until she got to the kitchen.

 

She didn't like what she saw. She didn't like the fact Adora was pressed up against the counter or that he was whispering in her ear, or that his hand was making his way to his belt.

 

Someone else would probably just leave, thinking she didn't mind what was happening. But Catra could tell, by the way she looked into the empty space, and how she wasn't saying a single word. She'd frozen up.

 

And Catra wasn't going to stand their and let something bad happen, not to _her_.

 

_Fuck unrequited love._

 

“Dude…” Catra stepped into the room, both Callum and Adora looking towards her, “She doesn't want your dick, so step away before I scratch your eyes out.” Catra stated it plainly, as if it were fact.

 

He grumbled moving away cautiously, Adora still stunned by him and Catra's appearance.

 

As he walked out the room, Catra took hold of his shirt, hissing, “get the _fuck_ out of her house.” He did.

 

That left the two of them, in the kitchen, the tension of months apart so thick it could be sliced with a sword.

 

Adora was the first to speak.

 

“Thanks...but why are you here?”

 

Catra couldn't fall apart now, so she kept her act up, “What do mean, Adora? I'm here to celebrate,” her lips tugged into a smirk.

But despite her nonchalant attitude, she couldn’t help but think of how damn _beautiful_ Adora was in that red dress, almost matching the colour of her shirt. 

“Yeah of course you are, of course you're not _looking_ for a fight.” She scoffed.

 

Catra's grin faded.

 

Was she? She didn't really know how to answer that, and Adora realised that too.

 

“Listen, Catra…how about we-”

 

Glimmer came bursting in, empty pizza boxes in hand, “Hey Adora, what're you doing, you've been in here-” she realised there was another girl, in a red shirt, standing there too. Then she realised _who_ that girl was.

 

“No way…” she laughed, “is it really the infamous Catra?”

 

Adora looked at Glimmer, almost warning her that she should probably stop speaking. She didn't.

 

“When Adora first came here, she wouldn't stop speaking about you, speaking to you, it was almost _worrying_ , but Bow and I helped her get out that stage of her life,” Bow walked in just as his name was mentioned, “Isn't that right Bow?”

 

He nods, looking down at his phone.

 

Catra _growls_ , “Listen _Shimmer_ , or whatever the fuck you're called,” she took a threatening step towards her, “stay outta my business with _my_ friend because it's got jack shit to do with you.” Glimmer was fuming now.

 

Bow was stood there awkwardly, while Adora tried to intervene, “Guys, could you just-”

 

“No! I will not stay out of your business when it's my friends business too, because despite what you think, she is my friend, not yours anymore, and _you're_ the one who messed that up.”

 

Up until that point Catra had been angry, _agitated_ by this short pink girl, but now, her mask was starting to crack, though it quickly hardened again, blood boiling.

 

“Shut the fuck up, _Glitter_ , why don't you and your friend _Blow_ fuck off and leave me and Adora to sort our shit out, because you barely know her, or what she wants, which is why she stopped talking to me in the first place.” Catra retorted back harshly, Glimmer being taken aback, mouth shaped in an 'o’.

 

“Bow, help me get her out,” Was all she said before chaos emerged.

 

“Don't you dare touch me,” Catra hissed, before he stepped forward, mouthing a sorry, Adora in awe at how bad everything was going tonight.

 

Catra struggled in Glimmer's and Bow's grip, shouting and cursing, causing everyone to stop and stare, music also dimming to view the exchange.

 

“Get off me!” Catra screeched, clawing at Glimmer's face mostly, Adora lagging behind, a distressed look plastered on her face.

 

Through all of it she had mostly been mute, but she was getting tired of this, getting tired of no one listening to her and what she wanted. And really, she wanted to talk to _Catra_. Despite everything, because she still cared, and loved her - if only it was returned.

 

She exploded.

 

“Glimmer, Bow, just stop, STOP.” They had stilled, Catra was released and everyone else was frozen.

 

“Let go of her, you have no right to touch her like that, and everyone, _leave_ , party's over.”

 

Everyone was still frozen, it was as if she'd stopped time.

 

“Why are you still standing here? I told you all  to go.”

 

Finally, the party was over, which was what Adora had wanted since the beginning of the night. She sighed in relief, watching everyone trail out, until there was only Glimmer, Bow and Catra left.

 

“So…” Glimmer started, before being cut off by and abrasive Adora.

 

“You're leaving.” She said it flatly, not bothering to sugar coat it, pointing to the door.

 

All _three,_ started making their way to the outside but Adora wasn't done.

 

“No.” They all turned to face her, “You,” she pointed to Catra, “upstairs, now, my rooms the first door.”

 

A confused Catra looked at the girl perplexed by what she had said, but nonetheless she followed the Adora's orders - it wasn't the time for snide remarks.

 

Glimmer piped up again, “But-”

 

“Glimmer, this is not the time. You are my friend, but you've done enough tonight. Catra was right about some things - you don't know me as well as you may think, and you haven't been doing what's best for me. It's my fault too, I should of done what I thought was best, but I was so set on getting people to like me I lost sight of what - who mattered.”

 

Glimmer's eyes were dim, with what was almost regret.

 

“Just go,” Adora whispered, holding the door open.

 

They left in silence.

 

Now everyone, but Catra, was gone. Another sigh of relief came. Then short breaths of panic after.

 

_What am I gonna do? Catra's up in my bedroom, sitting there, waiting for me to...Okay calm down, I just need to be **honest**. _

 

So Adora marched up there, ready to pour her heart out, about emotions she had been sitting on for years, not knowing what Catra would say or how she would react. She was nervous.

 

Catra sat down on Adora's bed, waiting anxiously for the girl to come upstairs and-

 

What exactly was she planning to say or do?

 

 _Was she just going to chastise me?_ Catra thought, already regretting not just leaving. But she couldn't say no to Adora when she was so distressed, annoyed because of _her_.

 

No matter how she looked at it, all this had happened because of _her,_ and she wanted to fix it, to fix _them_.

 

She was scared, scared she'd mess up even more but she was also determined to say what exactly had been plaguing her thoughts for the last couple of years.

 

Both girls braced themselves for the conversation ahead.

 

The doorknob turned. Catra, already facing the door, looked up at the girl, mismatched eyes meeting ocean blue ones.

 

“Hey, Adora,” Catra's throat was dry.

 

“Hi Catra,” Adora sat next to Catra, never taking her eyes off her, thinking the entire time how amazing Catra looked, even though she should of been thinking of what to say.

 

There were a couple seconds of thinking, gathering thoughts, then Adora spoke.

 

“Why...why did you really come here?”

 

Catra inhaled deeply, “I have no clue if I'm being honest. I initially thought it'd be cool to do it to spite you, but, I guess that's, um, not it...since I'm here now.”

 

Adora nodded, considering whether she should just spill everything before she got cold feet.

 

“Catra, I…” she bit her lip, “I'm sorry, for back at the park, for everything that happened and especially for ignoring you.”

 

“Me too,” she spat back codly, recalling the long hot shower she'd took after. She recalled how much she cried, and screamed into her pillow. She felt like she had no more tears left in her after that day. And even now.

 

Adora continued. “The reason why I even cared what they thought about you, about _us,_ was because...well I've kind of been keeping something from you, from everyone, and I've been so paranoid to the point I'll do stupid stuff like...like ignoring you.”

 

Catra was worried now, she wished she still didn't care, but she _did_. Placing a hand on Adora's thigh, she asked, “What is it?”

 

“Could I... explain from the beginning?”

 

Catra nodded.

 

“I...uh, I've always been unsure with who I am in a sense, specifically, my, uh-” she felt her throat get tighter.

 

“It's okay Adora, I'm not going to judge y-”

 

“My sexuality,” she abruptly said, stunning Catra.

 

“I wasn't sure whether I liked girls, guys or both, but as you know, my parents are super homophobic, so I was scared of even thinking I was anything but straight, since they could put me back into the system and I wouldn't be able to see you and-”

 

She stopped Adora from rambling on, “Hey, hey, I'm sure they wouldn't do that, they love you, but if you were gay, what was your plan?”

 

“I'd just wait until I was 18 to tell them.”

 

Catra nodded slowly. “Okay..."

Hesitant to go on, Catra said encouragingly:

"It's okay, continue.”

 

Adora did exactly that.

 

“So, I was too scared to do anything but _be straight,_ so when John asked me out, I, I said yes. And I _hated_ it.”

 

“Well that wouldn't mean you're gay.”

 

“I didn't even want to kiss him, I _didn't,_ Catra, I didn't kiss him, or touch him, after that I knew I couldn't be _anything_ but a lesbian Catra, I just knew it.”

 

Catra was almost dazed now. _Adora's known for two years? Why didn't she tell me?_ Getting her thoughts out was impossible now, so she just listened.

 

“My obsession with Selena Gomez should of made it obvious but…” she chuckled, “I'm clueless.”

 

“So what does this have to do with me?” Catra inquired, thinking, _it couldn't be because she likes me._

 

“Well, Glimmer and Bow started saying how much I talked to you, and at first I ignored it, then, Glimmer asked if you were my girlfriend, and-”

 

“So it's because you were ashamed of me?” Catra felt that same hateful feeling rise again.

 

“No, no no, _god no_ , Catra, I was ashamed of _myself_ , and my identity, to the point it pulled me away from you. That's how desperate I was to make sure no one could even _suspect_ I was gay.” She buried her head in her hands, just as she did when she told Catra she was moving, on the brink of tears now.

 

“I...I don't, well I-I…” Catra's sentence trailed off, unsure of what to say now, of how she could go about confessing her _love_ to Adora when she clearly didn't seem to reciprocate.

 

_Oh, unrequited love._

 

Still speechless, Adora went on, looking at Catra in a way that was melting her heart.

 

“And I regret it so much, I _fucked_ everything up, these past months have been the worst months of my life, because I missed you so much...but I didn't know what to say and I didn't even want to admit I still cared.” A tear rolled down her face.

 

“Neither did I,” she wiped the tear off her face, as they always did as kids. Smiling she said, “we're both just too stubborn I guess,”  laughing, Adora joining momentarily, however it died down quickly, Catra finally speaking her mind.

 

“I, um, missed you too. _So much_ . And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what I said in the park, I was angry and acting on impulse, and I don't hate you, in fact I-” she couldn't finish her sentence, she couldn't say _it_ , but Adora didn't seem to notice, starting on another rant.

 

“I’m glad. But can I be honest Catra? I was scared. To admit it, to admit who I was and that-” she sighed, “you know back at the park, before you left?”

 

Catra recalled it.

 

“Well, I was, I was about to say that, that _Ilovedyou_. In an unrequited kinda love way, because I know you'd never want anyone like me, I'm just, I'm just a mess when it comes to this, and clueless, and that's why I panicked when Glimmer caught on, because of _my_ internalised homophobia and homophobic parents and just- ugh, everything!”

 

Catra had short circuited.

 

 _I was right? She was going to say it? She, she, Adora liked me, likes me?_ She couldn't wrap her head around it.

 

“And, and,” she took Catra's hand, sending a shiver up her body, “I _still_ love you.”

 

Catra had never thought Adora would even be gay, (despite the Selena obsession), let alone like, _like_ her. Her heart was pounding and her head was spinning. She started spilling out everything that she'd been keeping in all these years.

 

“I... I've liked you for a while too, I think since about 12. I had found out what the word _soulmate_ meant, and, I don't, maybe it's dramatic, but I really thought- think that's what we could be. When we were 14, I asked and you brushed it off, then got a boyfriend, so I really thought it was unrequited. I guess not…”

 

Adora squeezed Catra's hand, her lips tugging upwards. “It’s not, it never was, I was just so in denial about it, but now, I'm ready and I just want to stop pretending that I don't want to be with you.”

 

“You _want_ to be with me?”

 

“More than anything.”

 

“Even after everything?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Do you really like me that much?”

 

“Yeah, like, I _love you_ , like you,” Adora chuckled, scooting closer to Catra.

 

Catra's voice lowered to a whisper, “I'm sorry I ruined your party, and happy birthday,” she looked at the floor, focusing on the purple rug, flustered by Adora's directness.

 

“I honestly _wanted_ someone to, and thank you,” she spoke softly, slowly, as if they had all the time in the world.

 

It felt like they did.

 

“I'd never miss your birthday for anything, Adora,” she moved closer, knees touching now, hand in hand, Catra placing a palm on Adora's cheek.

 

“Do you really think we're soulmates?” She asked, eyes glinting.

 

“We could be, and I think we are, I think we always have been,” Catra hums, leaning her face in closer, so close she can feel Adora's breath, and smell Adora's sweet, flowery perfume.

 

“Good,” is all Adora manages to get out before Catra seals her lips with a kiss, her _first kiss_ , which is slow, and gentle, and unfamiliar to both  girls, which makes it even more special. They part, hearts drumming and heads spinning.

 

“Adora?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I love you too.”

 

Now, she was guiding Adora to lean against the headboard, straddling one thigh, hands wrapped around the girl's neck, before hungrily planting a kiss on her lips again, not bothering to ease into it anymore. However, soon the pace subsided, slow and languid. They pressed their foreheads together, both breathing in time with each other.

 

“Catra?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do you want to stay over?”

 

“I'd love to.”

 

Then Catra had remembered she needed to text her parents, despite it ruining their very intimate moment.

 

As she did that, Adora stripped out of the uncomfortable dress, slipping on a large Nike t-shirt, and also getting one for Catra.

 

“Thanks,” she had said, getting changed, not being too bothered by Adora's presence, having grown used to getting changed in front of her.  

 

As soon as she finished, she was eager to get back to what they _had_ been doing, already missing the unfamiliar, electrifying feeling.

 

“Catra…” Adora had groaned as she climbed on top of her once again, not pushing her away once however.

 

“Cmon Adora, you know you like it…” she whispered into Adora's ears, triggering a fluttering feeling in her stomach.

 

Catra started planting small kisses on her jaw, and as Adora sighed contently, she continued doing so, working her way to her neck, hands gripping Catra's waist lightly. Then Catra had an idea.

 

“How about,” she placed a soft, quick kiss on Adora's lips, “I give you...let's call it a birthday _present_ to show you just how much I like you?” She had mischievous smirk on her face, Adora looking at her, initially confused, then realising.

 

“Oh...well, I _am_ the birthday girl,” she gave a smirk back.

 

“Perfect,” was all Catra murmured before planting more kisses on her neck, then, choosing the perfect spot, she proceeded to leave her mark (or present as she called it) on Adora, strangled gasps and sighs leaving her throat.

 

_Fuck you, unrequited love, you never even existed._

 

“I hope you own a couple turtlenecks,” Catra laughed, looking at the obvious bruise she'd left as she reached to turn the light off.

 

“I do, as a matter of fact, I got some quite recently,” she answered back smugly.

 

“All right _princess_ , well that's a good thing, since you're gonna need them a lot now,” Catra flashed her white teeth in the darkness.

 

“Fine by me,” Adora said, kissing Catra on the forehead, then nuzzling her neck, completely content in her arms.

 

They were both growing groggy, and after the night they'd both had, they were dying to get to sleep. Adora still had one more thing to ask though.

 

“We're okay now, right? We're back to how we were before, aren't we?”

 

“We're way more than okay, and we _aren't_ how we were before Adora, we are better now that we've admitted our feelings. I love you, you love me. Maybe, we're even _soulmates_.”

 

“Soulmates?” Adora whispered, not believing any of this was real.

 

“Soulmates.”

 

It was real. It wasn't unrequited.

And the next day would bring new problems, but Adora couldn't care less. Because she went to sleep in Catra's arms, and she dreamt of the same thing, the only word she remembered from that dream being:

 

 **Soulmates**.

**Author's Note:**

> Woo! Hope you enjoyed that, I really loved writing it. It's made me really consider doing a multichapter AU similar to this one, but, yeah I don't know. 
> 
> Honestly, even for me writing this, I felt like Glimmer was a little meaner than she actually is, but since it's an AU I wasn't too bothered about it. 
> 
> Anyway if you'd like to follow me on Tumblr, my username is the exact same lmao, here's the link too:
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bow-woahh


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